Two months ago I was diagnosed with a metastatic breast cancer recurrence. Frankly the details of it bore me at this stage–this stage of feeling better. Two months in I’ve finally settled enough, having experienced what feels like a life-time’s worth of mental and emotional turmoil and growth and pain.
Like last time around I’m embracing what seems like the 7-course meal approach to healing. An amuse bouche of prayer, an appetizer of meditation, a first course of cranial sacral work, an entree of chemotherapy, a side of body work, a palate cleanser of naturopathic supplements, and a dessert buffet of love and support, leaving the sweetest taste in my whole body and spirit!
I have no idea what this new journey holds but with the love and support of this giant community I look forward to all sorts of new possibilities, to getting back to cooking, to keeping this space open and welcoming, to learning from you all and your journeys of growth and turmoil and pain. There is so much suffering AND so much love and beauty in this world.
I leave you with a poem by Mark Nepo from his book Inside the Miracle: Enduring Suffering, Approaching Wholeness
Knowing God
Oh lone crazed bird
singing in the night —
you sing with your whole body
while the rest of us sleep.
I go to close the window
when my wife touches my arm
and we listen.
You call out
like a saint robbed of words.
Are you blind and trapped
in a vision of sun?
Or do you simply see farther
than the rest of us?
Do you see the light coming?
Do you feel the beads of warmth
forming in the dark?
Oh what has stirred
that thing in you that sings?
Stir me now
Sing me clean.
Anne Gilbert Walton says:
Oh, Katherine, you inspire us beyond words. Wishing you peace! Anne
cookwithwhatyouhave says:
Thanks, Anne!
Renee Niquette says:
Katherine, keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers for lots of healing. You are an inspiration!!!
cookwithwhatyouhave says:
Thanks, Renee! Big hugs!
Chris Pieratti says:
Dear Katherine, I am so sorry to hear of this latest challenge and pray for your continued comfort and healing. You have endured much suffering already, always with so much grace and elegance, an inspiration to us all. My heart is with you. I want to support you how ever I can. (I will start by resubscribing and joining the community again). Let me know if there is more you need. Love, Chris
cookwithwhatyouhave says:
Thank you, Chris! xo
Jen Rich says:
Sending so much love and healing thoughts your way! All things are possible!
ππΈππΈππΈπ
cookwithwhatyouhave says:
Thank you, thank you, thank you! I am so grateful for all the love!
Ziedah Diata says:
Thank you for sharing your journey. Sending lots and lots of light.
cookwithwhatyouhave says:
Thank you so much!
Shari Sirkin says:
Thank you, again, for sharing your struggle… dammit. Not to put you on a pedestal, but as another adoring fan, am thinking of you and feeling (sending?) love and healing to you. I am so thankful for all you do for family farmers, and like Chris want to support you how ever I can. Warmly, Shari
cookwithwhatyouhave says:
Thank you so much, Shari!
Anne Heimlich says:
“I am sending you light, to heal you, to hold you. I am sending you light to hold you in love.”
cookwithwhatyouhave says:
Thank you so much, Anne!
Susan Fierman says:
You give a lifetime of inspiration. Love, prayers, healing to you. Watch some funny movies we love you!!!!
cookwithwhatyouhave says:
Might just do that:)! Love you!
Carol Hickman says:
The whole family is sending you and yours big love.
p.s. Such a beautiful poem. Thank you for that.
cookwithwhatyouhave says:
Thanks, Carol! xo
jeanne quan says:
Katherine – Iβve ALWAYS thought of you as one of the most articulate, motivated, and beautiful women Iβve ever known in my long life.
Youβve created community near and far and weβre all here for you. πΈ
cookwithwhatyouhave says:
Ah, thanks Jeanne!
Jill Brothers says:
God bless katherine
cookwithwhatyouhave says:
Thank you, Jill!
Danica Fierman says:
Thank you so for sharing your journey. I loved the 7 course meal metaphor. I might just say βamuse boucheβ over and over for the joy of it. I love you, and admire you, and see you. So much love to you.β€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈ
cookwithwhatyouhave says:
I had fun with that metaphor for sure:)! xoxo
Meg says:
Such a beautiful post and written with such heart. I am surrounding you with love and light.
cookwithwhatyouhave says:
Thank you, Meg!
Thomas Fuller says:
Ah, Katherine.
What a beautiful poem.
Some part of us…feeling the rising of the sun coming.
Blessings to you in your deep initiation. May it not be too hard.
Love to the husband and kiddo as well.
Thomas
cookwithwhatyouhave says:
Thank you, Thomas!
Chris Smith says:
Rooting for you, as always! Keeping you in my thoughts.
cookwithwhatyouhave says:
Thanks so much, Chris!
Jayne Cronlund says:
May you receive 10 times all you have given. (And you have given a whole heck of a lot) Healing light and health to you.
cookwithwhatyouhave says:
Thank you, Jayne!
Marion Sproul says:
Oh Dear Katherine – Our LOVE to you and your Family.
cookwithwhatyouhave says:
Thanks dear Marion!
Lori Godrey says:
That’s rotten news! I am a late stage breast cancer survivor and I support you on your journey. Glad you are feeling more like yourself and doing some things that you love.
Here to support you!
cookwithwhatyouhave says:
Thank you, Lori! I hope you are doing well. I will reach out to you directly.
Nancy Becker says:
Sending you hugs and love dear Katherine
Kyenne Williams says:
Thank you SO much for the update: I’ve been thinking of you weekly and hoping you are doing well. Better. Healing. However to put it.
If there is some way I (and perhaps those of us who love your cooking and classes and yet don’t know you well – yet) could be of use, please ask for anything you need?! I would be happy to send a card, run an errand or be of use! Seriously. Much love and spring joy!
cookwithwhatyouhave says:
Thank you Kyenne. I so appreciate the support!
Magee Rosemary says:
Surrounding you with prayer, love and support. All the blessings you have shared with so many will return to you.
Aimee GM says:
Thank you for sharing your reframe of this experience. It certainly inspires me to keep trudging through with a full and grateful heart, a head held high, and a devotion to beating this thing. Good health and energy being sent your way, Katherine. β€οΈ
cookwithwhatyouhave says:
Thanks Aimee! Same to you! We’ve got this!
Ricardo Salvador says:
Katherine,
True to form, thank YOU for inspiring US. My gratitude and admiration flow to you. May your right living and healing do so as well. Much love. π
cookwithwhatyouhave says:
Thanks dear friend!
Talie Smith says:
You’ve lit love in my heart Katherine. Thank you for your grace, poetry, and pain.
Ashley Henry says:
Thinking of you and sending so much love, Katherine!
LeAnne Grillo says:
There are many times that I wish I had a magic wand. This is another one. Sending healing thoughts and good juju to you.
Lynn Eve Komaromi says:
Damn…so sorry to hear this news. Patrick and I send love and healing thoughts to you. And Iβll be keeping you in my prayers. Lots of love, Lynn Eve
cookwithwhatyouhave says:
Thanks friend!
Eve Callahan says:
You sing with your whole body, heart and spirit, dearest K…love you dearly. xox
cookwithwhatyouhave says:
Thanks my dearest Eve!
Kathryn Fitch says:
I’ll add David and my voice to this chorus of love for you. I’m feeling so much admiration for you and inspiration
from your wise, heart filled words. Yes, you’ve got this and none of us are going to be far away.πΊ
cookwithwhatyouhave says:
Thank you Kathryn and Dave! I think of you two often as well and hold you close.
Joy Rothschild says:
You are a gift. Thank you for being exactly who you are. All good and healing thoughts to youβ€οΈ
cookwithwhatyouhave says:
Ah, thanks Joy! Love to you!